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Posts Tagged ‘education’

I thought of writing this article after I got fed up with the endless articles about birth rates declining and the constant blame put on women because they choose to pursue higher education. I thought that we left this behind many decades ago but as I can see this is the number one scapegoat most people around here prefer to point at. I won’t get into the importance of education nowadays because when it comes to pursue one, it’s each to its own, I would say it better to have one than none at all.

The ones who are usually barking so much on the subject are men who complain about their poor peers who remain in the countryside, choose to stay out of school or pursue a professional school and then remain single because those “damn harpies” choose careers and move to the big cities. They usually come up with apocalyptic future scenarios of old spinsters, damnation, cats and loneliness. In addition to that they are also complaining that these women are too picky, too stuck up and that nothing is good for them.

My first thought is, then why don’t you go and get an education yourself? Why are you jealous on a person who wants to build a future for themselves and their world doesn’t revolve around yours? Because believe it or not, you are not the center of the universe and no person owes you anything.  You miss the good old days when women were barefoot, knocked-up in the kitchen? Then be prepared to have a super income because nowadays you can rarely manage on one salary. The biggest problem with these people is that they live in the past, in a world of fantasy.

Being dependent and relying on a guy (of one’s free will) is perhaps the most stupid thing you can do. But again, I also guide myself on “the best person to rely on is yourself” philosophy. You never know when the other one will kick you in the curb or you know, misfortunes happen. I was also taught wisely by my parents that it’s better to have your own finances and never rely on anybody.

Nobody stops you from studying and earning a degree if you want. Not in Finland where (for the moment) there are no tuition fees. But some people don’t want higher education and others are not meant for it. Which is fine. But stop complaining and blaming other people for your incapacities or laziness. And stop blaming the system that it favors girls. If you really want to achieve something, no system will stay in your way. I saw proof with my own eyes and of both genders.

Blaming women that they are too picky is rather shallow I would say. As mentioned before, nobody is entitled to like you. These women have their own preferences, own personalities and own minds and they’d better be picky if it is about something so important as sharing life with somebody. It’s better being alone that be with somebody just for the sake of being and then realize you share nothing in common or even hate each other.

As for the profession part, these “critics” must live underground because lots of us are not hunting for a profession. For me it is a deep insult to hear that I’m a stuck up academic bitch who doesn’t even look at blue collar workers. Profession has never been an issue when I connect with another person because I look at that person as a human being not at a profession. One of my top priorities is mutual respect. If that is missing, I’m sorry to say but it won’t work. I never looked down on any person because of their profession (sadly I can’t say that was mutual, I’ve been humiliated many times while working blue collar jobs). Professions can change but the dynamics between two persons is much more complicated and I doubt that a profession or education has so much to do with it. My partner didn’t even attend high school and I have two MA’s and I must say that it would be quite a shock for these people who can do nothing more but judge. It’s true, I did hear nasty remarks from some that how can I be in a relationship with such a person, pointing out the fact that I’m superior because of my education. Needless to say I cut any ties with these people. If you can’t respect people I care about, I don’t have any obligation to respect you. An MA diploma doesn’t make me superior in any way but the fact that I respect people the way they are and not judge them like you do, yes, that makes me superior to your judgmental ass.

And before blaming women that they are like this and like that and don’t pay attention to you, take a look at yourself first. Do you think somebody would like to be with a person who does nothing but blame others and likes to dictate how others should live? Because I wouldn’t. Before demanding things from others take a look at yourself. Are you worth it?

 

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I haven’t written for a while here, mostly being busy with other stuff but something that happened recently gave a a bit of thought on the matter. Somebody asked me what have i done since i moved to Finland and i made a brief summary of my studies and jobs. I did work as a gardener and cleaner for few summers to earn my living and sustain myself during the studies since as an immigrant i wasn’t qualified for any grants. Now i consider myself one of the lucky ones who works in their field. After a mentioned my summer jobs, the respective person said an empty “aham” and a “wow and are you happy with that? i mean you have a certain age, you should have been in a more advanced state of your life”. Didn’t speak to me after that.

I wasn’t shocked because i had similar things said to me whenever i mentioned my summer jobs (usually said by Romanians). One of the most famous were: and do your parents know about it? are they proud of what you do? (implying that my parents must be dying of shame that their daughter with an academical degree is mopping floors), oh, so you are gathering shit?. One guy i worked with when i did gardening told me that factory workers must be really stupid because only stupid people work in factories. Or people who managed to get a dead-end job in i don’t know what company and they feel superior just because they sit on their ass 8 hours per day and stare at a computer screen.

At first i was shocked because my parents taught me that every honest job is important and it should be respected. But then i realized it’s not my or anybody else’s problem that you work in a blue collar job and others throw crap at you for that. But the one who throws crap at you usually has the problem. The usual stereotype is that you are not smart enough (or you must be plain stupid) or didn’t work enough/are not ambitious. That’s not how things work. In the first place nobody can or even wants to become a manager, doctor, corporatist etc., secondly the job market is not at all that great. You might be training for your dream job (whatever that might be) and get a place at a grocery store. Fields that today are in demand, tomorrow can be in crisis. Nowadays people have 2 or even more professions because you can’t manage anymore with one. Or you simply want to be a gardener, cleaner, truck driver. Believe it or not some people do want to train in these jobs.

To assume that anybody is stupid or a loser just because they work in these jobs is ignorance not to say stupidity.

And then all the shit i got because i chose to study in humanities and of course i will become a loser because only losers study in humanities and then work at McDonalds. I chose this field because i love it and i do want to work in it (i am actually right now). If my job will end, i’ll try to find smth. else. If i can’t, i’ll take whatever it comes along. As long as it’s honest, any kind of work is fine.

On the other side it’s great to get these kind of remarks because then you know who really cares about you. A person who judges me because i do an honest job (whatever that job may be) is not a person i want to be around in the first place. If you are not comfortable with what i do then don’t bother to talk to me at all.  I have more respect for the garbage guy than for an asshole who thinks he/she is superior just because they  have a “better” job.

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